ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
