I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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