i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He passed out mid-signature
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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