I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
