i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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