After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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