Pappa wants mamma naked
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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