What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
