TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
