Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
