3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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