Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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