Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
