I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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