I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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