He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
