I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Alive.
So much puke
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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