Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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