i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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