People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
