Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
