Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
