I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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