did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
