seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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