Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
