her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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