My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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