I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
