One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
