Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
