I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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