No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
