Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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