he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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