just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize