I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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