you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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