Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
