some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize