He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize