We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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