You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
