I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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