Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
