I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
