Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
