Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Couch. On fire.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
