C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
