Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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