Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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