He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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