using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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