There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
