I'm jealous of your bromance
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize