"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
