Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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