Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
