D3 body, D1 cock
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
