so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
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