Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
