You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you win again, gameday.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
