I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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