After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
