plz talk dirty to me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is that strawberry winking at me??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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