you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
false alarm, still single
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
